Friday, April 25, 2008

Mandy gets Tit-Fucked and Also Fucked.

-So, before we start, I think we should give a shout out to Kevin Fetus, right?

Totally! All of the music you hear on my site he's created or helped create.

-Including that spooky tentacle music?

Yup I think his stuff is in there too. Kevin is an amazing musician and you should all check out his stuff. He's got a myspace page.

-I think I heard some Cephalic Carnage on some of the vids...

Yeah, Kevin did some remixes for them.

-So, what happened to the archives?

There were some technical issues and so we decided to remove them for awhile. Eventually I want to get a very few favorite videos back up along with the tentacle monster video that's in the new archive page that's up as of today. But I don't know when the foot fucking vid will be back, or the Sasha vid. Patience people.

-So, it looks like you're back to having sex with humans. No more tentacle-rape?

There will be lots and lots more tentacle rape with more girls. But we need to re-build the monster better first and get all organized and stuff.

-So the next monster video will be more advanced?

That's the plan. The first one was the beta version, or the pilot. Now we've figured some stuff out, about how to make it look better, get more actual tentacle footage, there's some stuff I want to fix/try out with the lighting, etc.

-And sluts?

Of course.

-I hear you had a rough time on set this week...

I did. I had an sudden asthma attack on a porno set and had to cancel my scene. That was Tuesday morning, I am still recovering and stuck in bed most of the day. When I try to get up all I do is cough violently and get dizzy. It sucks and I was pretty pissed off because I really wanted to work that day. People were smoking on set on the first day of shooting. On the other hand the director got me an awesome fancy cake.

-Who were you shooting with?

I worked with Alektra Blue that first day and she was awesome. Friendly and so so hot. She liked my boobs and really knows what she's doing when she fucks your asshole with a dildo.

-Better than a monster?

Well the monster didn't go anywhere near my asshole. We will have to remedy that in one of the future monster movies.

-Is that Alektra scene going up on here?

No. That was for a feature. An Adam and Eve movie.

-When you say stuff like out how you like Alektra, do you think people believe you or do you think they all think it's a front and really you're just pretending to like it and you're actually just all liars?

I don't really care what people think when it comes to things like that. If they aren't going to believe us sometimes, why do they bother asking?

-Good point. What did you do last weekend?

I went to Murderfest at the Knitting Factory with some SuicideGirl friends and saw Converge and Watch Me Burn and some other good bands. (Kevin Fetus is in Watch Me Burn with Sawa Suicide.) I feel asleep on the last day when Today's The Day was playing, so I didn't enjoy it that to it's full potential. And I was way too exhausted to stay for Napalm Death which is a bit of a bummer. But it was great anyway.

-Did anyone get murdered?

Not that I am aware of.

-Been reading much?

Yeah, I read a lot. I'm reading Money by Martin Amis and it's great. And I also started Rabbit, Run by John Updike. I like the depressing descriptions of the cities and towns so far, but I'm not sure I'll get real interested in the plot.

-"Money" is about like crazy people making movies and sluts, right?

Yup. It's also very eloquent.

-Is making porno movies like that book?

Uh, a little yeah. Lots of chaos, irresponsibility, and disorganization. But usually everyone survives in the end.

-Is the Mandy Morbid dot com staff disorganized?

I am sometimes, not that often. Who isn't sometimes?


Not on purpose. I try real hard not be. I think with I'm doing ok.

-Is the tentacle monster irresponsible or disorganized?

He's totally disorganized at the moment, he's in pieces.

-So, like, does he show up on the set all coked up in his convertible with his sungasses hanging off two hours late and not knowing his dialogue and like grabbing the cameragirl's ass with his tentacles?

Not quite. He's just unpredictable. Not unlike myself. If you fuck him too hard his tentacles fall off.

-Is he all "Oh, sorry honey, I'm gonna fix that up! Let me just...awww,yeah, you know? You got pretty eyes?" and then he sticks it back on?

Well, during the scene, you know he gets into it and wants to just finish his scene. But since then he's been sulking on my porch in total disarray. He's moody.

-Actors, huh?


Sunday, April 20, 2008

Mandy Vs. Crazy Tentacle Sex Monster

Live-Action DIY Tentacle Rape Porn is hereby a reality!

We built the monster ourselves and shot the footage in few hours. For a first try I think it looks great.

Special thanks to Benny Profane for helping us edit this one.
And Kimberly Kane and Ming for their help with the monster while we were shooting. They were excellent monster wranglers. Thank Zak Sabbath for directing/filming.

Just you all wait---the next one will be even better.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Mandy Morbid and Chapel Waste Had Fun And The Contest Winner Is...

-So who won your contest?

Dagon won for suggesting Tank Girl, which I had never seen before and fell in love with except for the part when they all sing and the kangaroo mutants were really stupid. But otherwise, it was great! Farson (and Benny) came in second for suggesting Primer, which was excellent.

-You've never seen Tank Girl?

Yeah, I'm a sorry excuse for a punk/goth girl.

-It's awful. I mean, the comic books are funny and stuff, but that movie is AWFUL.

Lori Petty is hot and entertaining. None of the other movies offered anything nearly as good to distract you from the poorly done sci-fi special effects and stupid dialogue. Besides, all my friends love it too, I had just never seen it. There must be some quality in it that appeals to young women of my generation that you just don't get.

-Ok, I don't get it. However, this "Dagon"--who, according to the internet, is a major northwest semitic god of agriculture also gets it--despite being born around 2500 years ago. Also, he should e-mail his address to you if he wants his prize. What do you think an ancient Ugaritic god wants with your panties?

The same thing the rest of you want with my panties? He won't get 'em unless he emails his address to me and if he wants a photo instead of panties, he should let me know in that email too.

--The only other thing I've ever heard about him saying is "I will have the kings of the Yaminites cooked on a fisherman's spit, and I will lay them before you."

Where does it say that? What is or what are the Yaminites?

--It says that "in a letter to King Zimri-Lim of Mari, 18th century BC, written by Itur-Asduu, an official in the court of Mari and governor of Nahur." according to Wikipedia. I assume Yaminittes are people from someplace called "Yamin"--extremely unlucky people.

Seems so.

-Some people say he's half-man half-fish...

Do they? How interesting...

-In "Lolita", Humbert says he had a pair of Lolita's underwear that he "stained with merman tears"--what do you think that's all about?

I think that's about Nabokov being poetic.

-Ok, so what's this week's movie all about?

Chapel came over to my house and we had sex.

-You make it sound so boring, but you make it look like lots of fun.

It was lots of fun. I'm just not feeling very articulate today.

-So did Chapel come over and she was all quiet and not saying anything and you too and then you were like Ok, now we have to have sex and then you did and then you were like, Hey this is fun?

Not exactly. But a little like that.

-She was in that movie "Porny Monster"--was she porny and/or a monster?

Oh. She was more porny.

-Of all the co-stars you've had sex with, which one was the most like a monster?

The monster. None of the girls were like monsters at all. Sometimes Zak makes monster noises, but not really when you're fucking him.

-You mean the tentacle monster?

Yeah. We shot it for the first time yesterday. Kimberly Kane, Ming and Zak and I all worked very hard.

-You worked hard to get fucked by a monster?


-Did it jizz monster goo all over you?

Yes, it was disgusting. By the end of the shoot I was covered in goo and soaking wet and oily and had been spit on a fair bit too. Being violated by that monster really is a lot of work.

-T.A. wants to see you in that Princess Leia bikini--what do you think of that? What do you think of the idea of being in that bikini being violated by Jabba the Hutt?

Jabba is way more scary than my monster, but only because he's so much bigger I think.

I think the bikini is a great idea. But I don't know where to get one, especially one that fits.

-Do you have problem finding clothes that fit?

Yes. And so would you if you looked like me.

-So what would happen if you were captured by a Hutt? What would you wear?

It'd be the Hutt's problem. I wouldn't have to think about it.

-Ok. Read any good books lately?

No. Well, maybe. I read Martin Amis' new book, the one of essays about September 11th. I don't agree with a lot of what he writes about it, but it was still interesting.

-He seems to have been way more surprised than someone who'd lived through the 20th century should've been.

Exactly. And he overlooks some important factors when writing about the causes of the conflicts between America and the Middle East. He's very sentimental or emotional about the whole thing.

-Who is more girly: Chapel or Martin Amis?

Well Chapel is. But she seems like she'd be far more cynical about the things Martin was writing about in his new book I think.

-Alright. I think that's enough for everybody to have to think about for this week.

I agree.

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Mandy Sucks Zak's Cock. There's Coloured Lights

-So you suck cock upside down in this one--what's that like?

It was alright except it felt like I was much closer to Zak's ass than I usually am. Can't decide if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

-I have you finished watching all the movies for your contest?

I think I'm about halfway through them, some I haven't been able to find yet.

-So are you gonna announce the winner next week?


-So what was the worst?

That's a really hard call. Like City of Lost Children had some really cool stuff in it, but didn't strike me as being really that sci-fi---it was more of a surreal fantasy movie for kids. Planet of the Apes is just silly and Charlton Heston is ugly---but it has the jungle girl, who I like. Event Horizon could have been really cool, but failed utterly to be interesting. No puzzles, no logic, no science, just lame horror "evil dimension" stuff and it was so trying to copy Aliens' style. The Abyss again had some things I like, but ruined it with totally silly looking aliens and a plot that's not especially believable--like no one noticed the crazy navy seal until it was waaaaay too late, and those characters were supposed to be specialists and whatnot. I guess I have pretty high standards.

-Did you like it in "Planet of the Apes" when they shoot water at Heston and he yells "It's a maaaadhouse" or maybe he says "maaaaan-hose"?

No. Not really. But both lines seem kinda random and unnecessary.

-So you didn't like "City of Lost Children"? Not even that bug-camera thing?

Didn't impress me. Other things in that movie were way better than that bug-camera. I liked it, a lot, just not as sci-fi.

-So I presume there will be no unnecessary random lines or plot-holes or "evil dimensions" in your upcoming Mandy-fucks-tentacle-monster live action movie?

Maybe there will be, actually I bet there will be. But I'm not aiming to create some sci-fi winning-contest masterpiece. I just want to see myself get fucked by tentacles. And have it look as cool as possible on a non-existent budget.

-So how's the monster look so far?

It looks amazing. It looks like a tentacle monster.

-Sweet. Is it AIM-tested?

You bet. And it'll be wearing condoms, so it's a safe sex monster.

-It sounds like a very considerate alien fuck fiend.

Indeed. But, my team created it especially for me, so I don't think it has a whole lot of free will when it comes to that sort of thing. You know, it's pre-programed. To suit all my tentacle fucking needs. It's Tentacle Monster Version 0.1 it may not be perfect.

-T-Rocc recommended "Battlestar Galactica"--what did you think of that?

Kind of a Star Wars rip-off sometimes. Bad costumes, cheesy Luke Skywalker acting. Terrible casino set. And that Starbuck character needs a good kick in the balls, for being such an idiot. Sorry....I feel bad for being so brutal, I'm not in a generous mood, not the best time to be doing movie reviews.

-Ok, well, what do you think of Joan Jett's version of "Crimson and Clover"?

I like it!

-2 part question: 1-Do you like that song "I Hate Myself For Loving You"? and (2)--If you sang a song called "I Hate Myself For Loving You" who or what would it be about?

1-Yes I like it, it's a great song. 2-There's no way I will ever answer a question like that on the internet. Or in any even remotely public setting. And I'm fairly certain I haven't ever hated myself for loving anyone.

-What about Boba Fett?

What about Boba Fett? Huh?

-I mean, how do you feel about loving Boba Fett?

I feel o.k about it.

-But he tried to kill Han Solo!

And Han tried to kill lots of people too, and aliens, they're all killing stuff in those movies, and I love most of them.

-How can you love someone and also the one who tried to kill them? Isn't that a conflict of love-interest or something?

My love for fictional characters doesn't follow any logical-real life restrictions. It's more admiration and awe of utter coolness than "love" I guess.

-What if Boba Fett got an AIM test and wanted to do a boy-girl with you, what would you say?

My rate would be really really high and he'd have to keep his armor on. ('least the first time...)

-I'm too busy imagining that to ask any more questions...

Yeah and of course I'd have to get a real hot space slut outfit for that scene too.

-Yeah, umm--you need to do that, seriously.

Yes I do.